To My 4 month old

I need to freeze you, just the way you are.

To stop time from changing one fold of skin,

one bat of an eye,

one smell.

I need a magic memory to guarantee

that I will never forget

the softness of you cheeks

the grasp of your fingers

or the scent of your milky breath.

I need a photograph of every

moment you wake up

and the first thing you do

is acknowledge both of our existences

with a smile that moves your entire

head and makes your eyes change shape.

I need to jump into your eyes

to swim around and see what just

what you are looking at.

I need to know what you feel in your heart,

just as you know my heart

even better than I do,

for you lived so close to it for so long

and always will no matter

how far away you may be.

I need you as you are now,

but I need to watch you grow as well

to do your big things

and live your life

and make new skin, and new smiles, and new smells.

They might not always be as pleasant as they are now,

but I will love them because they

will be yours.