Scat!

Dear Neighborhood Cat,

Thank you so much for putting us on your visiting schedule! It is so kind of you to come to our house several times a week. You seem like a real cutie pie, though because you come so late at night, I don't get a good look at you. Since we're on the subject of late at night, perhaps you could...er...um...change that a bit. See, we people like to sleep when it's dark. Especially in this house. Rarely will you see our lights on past 9:30. PM. Of course, perhaps that's why you like our house.

I'm assuming you were originally drawn here by our own precious feline. But therein lies the problem. You see, our sweet furry niblet is an indoor cat. This might surprise you, being the cat-about-town you seem to be. But she prefers it that way. She went out. Once. And does not wish to repeat that experience. She also tends to be a wee bit, shall we say,

territorial.

Meaning, she doesn't really like other cats -- or animals for that matter -- to tread upon her existence. She growls at delivery trucks. And the mailman. She's not one to befriend strangers, and strange -- make that unknown -- cats top that list.

Sooo, that brings us to your visits. We always know when you are here peeking in our window, because it is like Tasmanian Devil meets Chubacca as far as the most heinous sound ringing through our rafters. I know you hear it. It's directed at you ya' know. The caterwaul. The scream. The first few times it just about sent us through the walls and left us shaking in our bedsheets. Now we're more used to it, we know it's just you visiting, but it's still not a pleasant way to be woken from slumber, if there is a pleasant way at all.

So I'm going to have to ask that you take us off your nightly stroll. I've put paper on the windows so you can't see in, and our one and only can't see you. That helps, but just when I take the paper down thinking you have forgotten us, there you go showing up again. So I am going to have to appeal to you for help. I'm sure you're great. I caught a glimpse of you trotting away once, you look well-fed thus you must be well-loved. I'll spread the word, if you just find somewhere else to visit.

Please.

And thank you.