Please pass the

Pickles. PLEASE. And accompany them by some kind of deli-like sandwich. No pickles actually ON the sandwich, just that nice crispy cool dill one right on the side. PICKLES! From now on, that is how it must be said. It's not that PICKLES! have necessarily reached crazed craving proportion yet, not like the hot pretzel fiasco of '05 (Greta's incubation) or the fast food passion of '08 (Clara)...but almost there.

I've always enjoyed a good PICKLE!. Heavy emphasis on good. It seems like for a while now -- think years -- I've struggled to find just the right pickle to satisfy me. I've tried off brand, I've tried the state-brand, I've tried Vlasic, but none of them have that perfect deli crunch and seasoning I was looking for. I knew there's a brand I've been missing and I knew it sounds like "k". I have known that it's been out there the whole time, but after exhausting the supply of pickles the store carries, I was feeling heavy-hearted, but not to the point where I needed to do an all out, heavy-duty, crazed pregnant woman search -- until now.

HOWEVER...fast forward about 2 weeks ago, there I was amongst the hotdogs and various other sausage-like deli meats us pregnant women (as well as all children under 4) are supposed to avoid. As I grabbed a package of Bunsized and planning in my head the day we would all enjoy them, there I saw it. The glass glowing like a spotlight from heaven. Angels singing "Hallelujah". It was as if a giant "arrow of life" was pointing and flashing and hands were directing my head to the conquest: PICKLES!. The very brand that has thus far been eluding me. Why oh why, dear Claussen pickles, have you been hiding your jars of garlicky goodness so far from the competition? Why would you torture me for all of these years? Left to buy countless jars of subordinate brands only to leave the jar barely touched in the door of the refrigerator until I feel that it's jail time has been served and its briny contents may once again be free unto the sewers of the world. I don't need a lecture on economics or marketing or product placement, I understand that is what is going on here, but shouldn't you SOMEHOW have left a note, or a sign, or a message to remind me that you do exist and that, had I just divert from the condiment section where all other PICKLES! live , I should be reunited?

Thankfully, I have discovered this great mystery of life, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, not only do I have a nearly empty jar of PICKLES! in my refrigerator, but this empty jar will happen well before any kind of expiration date or good sense tells me that even PICKLES! can't last for years.

And so, now that my stomach is grumbling, and I can't wait to get home for a snack --of which, prepregancy PICKLES! never would've made the snack category by the way -- I hope it is thawing out wherever you are. We are warm, and though currently cloudy, I have to say I am enjoying the coat-free, sweet smelling air that has come our way. And now I am so hungry I am feeling a bit queasy, so let me go see what I can dig out of my purse to last me the half hour until I get home.... AHH!

**UPDATED: So, I'm reading the Claussen Pickles website (yes, I really was) and see that down at the bottom in not-so-fine print it says: FIND US IN THE REFRIGERATED SECTION. Well who knew.