mindless ramblings #1

Okay, just a few things whirling through my brain that might just make some people laugh, so I thought I'd share them with you. I will do them in pieces so that I do not burden you with more than you care to read.

Mindless thought #1: Spring Storms

Naturally, spring storms are inevitable and a natural necessity. Clear away the extra pollen, water in the fertilizers and new seedlings, renew life, all that good stuff. I love rain, and I'm always one to enjoy a thunderstorm. HOWEVER, I draw the line at Tornado watches. I know, I know, it's just a watch, but honestly...that just leaves me time to sit and wait for the possibility of it to come. And why is it that the majority of these watches happen in the evening -- or, at least lately, between the hours of 8pm and 3am....Now I know the scientific reasoning behind it all, but come on Mother Nature, cut me some slack!

Let me preface this with some background about -- lucky you -- me.

If there is an emergency situation, I'm your gal. Trust me on this one, I'm the one you want around if you are choking, injured, or the like. I truly believe that, as each wonderful human being has their own unique qualities (idiosyncrasies, general oddities...weirdness), we also have something that we obsess about (come on now, don't we all. I guess I'm hoping that's true). For me, it doesn't matter where I am, who I am with, or the occasion I am prepared for an emergency. If we are in a restaurant and there is a fire (or gunmen, earthquake, flood, etc.) I am going to be the one to know where the nearest or most reasonably accessible exit is. Yes, I listen to the safety speech on airplanes, yes I know where the nearest exit is, and yes I make sure there are floor lights to light my way. I think of how I could clambor over or around crowds in the event of a mass rush to an exit; I think of ways to push, shove, and physically get me (and my family of course) to safety in any given scenario, and know what to do in case there was a fire in any area of my home at any time of the day. While I am not one to believe in keeping a firearm in the home, I can guarantee you that I know of teh nearest weighted golf club or other device to protect me and my family. I know that, because I do not have a basement, in the event of a tornado I will grab the kids, the dogs, and hope the cat makes her way to us and go in the closet in our bedoom where I will protect us with the very clothes hanging there. Yes, this might seem extreme, and yes perhaps a bit maniacal, but you know the saying "chance favors the prepared mind". At least I think that's a saying, and if it isn't then please give me credit in the future.

As a child, I distinctly recall tornado watches and warnings at home. Frankly, watch or warning to me it was all the same. Fortunately for me, a special closet full of dressup clothes provided hours of fun and some of the best safety devices my young mind could think of. What better than putting on the basement radio (to hear for emergency updates) sitting under the table, wearing my dad's old powder blue (think 1960's people) wide-collared leather jacket -- perfect for the dangerous construction debris sure to fly around me during a tornado. Yes, I indeed had this vision of my huddled by myself under this table safely tucked in the emergency position (come on, you remember, kneeling down with your hands over your head -- like your arms and hands could offer your poor head that much protection!).

So, all of that brings me to my seemingly innate fear of storms, winter spring summer or fall. Anyone in Michigan over Christmas MUST remember that unbelievable wind storm. Staying at my mom's right on the lake, where the wind is always blowing hard, it was the closest to being in a tornado that I ever want to come. I have never heard such an awful sound, all of that wind blowing around. Yes, it sounded like the proverbial train that everyone describes a tornado as. I KNOW it wasn't a real tornado, and I KNOW it was just wind but you have to understand how that damages someone like me mentally (take your own potshot, I'm leaving it open). It was weeks and I was still hearing the wind in my mind....

Am I going nowhere with this post? Quite possibly. My point? None. Except that next time you have a storm, perhaps you'll think of me. You may roll your eyes and call me ridiculous (mom), but maybe, just maybe, you'll need me and I'll be prepared. When we're dining together and a band of wild kangaroos comes hopping into the restaraunt holding our waiter hostage...wait. What would I do then? I better go think about this one.